Night of remember
by annndreeea
Summary: When Thomas wakes up from a nightmare, Minho is there to comfort him. (no shippy thing)


Thomas had been having the same nightmare since he arrived on Safe Haven: Newt and Teresa's deaths were replaying in his mind everytime he was closing his eyes. But there was one thing that was hurting him more than the thought of his dead friends: the guilt. It was him who killed Newt. And he couldn't think of anything else but his last words: his name. The broken voice calling him one last time. That was tearing his heart apart. The fact that he couldn't save him. Nor her.

The night he woke up, screaming, Minho was there. And Thomas scared the hell out of him.

"Whoa, easy!" Minho managed to grab his attention.

When Thomas raised his look, tears were built in his eyes.

"What happened?" Minho asked, worried. No response came back, so he made a few steps closer and sat down on the bed. He gripped his friend's shoulder. "Are you alright?" he tried again.

Thomas moved his glance to the floor. "No." he answered, barely a whisper. For a few seconds the place lapsed into silence. He was owing his friend an explanation. "I keep having nightmares." he was sounding scared. That never happened to him.

"What kind of nightmares?" Minho's brows furrowed, in sign of question.

Thomas sighed, eyes starring at his trembling hands. "Newt. Teresa." his voice cracked at the pronunciation of the names. "And I feel like it's all my fault." he let out a quiet sob.

Minho has never seen his friend so exposed and vulnerable. Hell, he's never seen him crying. "I miss them, too. There doesn't pass a day without thinking how much we've lost. But you can't blame yourself for their deaths." he said, softly.

Thomas's teary eyes met Minho's. "You don't understand, Minho. I- _I_ killed Newt. That scene flashed right beforehis eyes. _**Please, Tommy, please.**_ It rang in his ears like a curse. His glance moved back to his hands. The hands that pushed the knofe in Newt's chest. "He...begged me to kill him." he silently said, guilt floating in his stomach. _**Tommy, kill me!**_ "And I did it." He looked back at Minho, who had a regretful expression. Tears were trickling down Thomas's cheeks. "You have no idea how it felt like."

"He didn't want to hurt you." Minho's voice was calm but sad. It was painful to accept the truth.

"Before he turned he - gave me this." Thomas picked up the necklace from Newt and handed it to Minho.

The Asian kid took it, shooting Thomas a short confused look, and examinated it. Then, he opened it and found a letter. Minho looked at his friend, who answered him with a tired "Just read it.".

For some reason, Minho decided to read it out loud.

 _Dear Thomas,_

 _This is the first letter I can remember writting. Obviously, I don't knkw if I wrote any before the Maze. But even if it's not my first, it's likely to be my last._

 _I want you to know that I'm not scared. Well, not of dying, anyway. It's more forgetting. It's losing myself to this virus, that's what scares me._

 _So every night I've been saying their names out loud: Alby, Winston, Chuck. And I just repeat them over and over like a prayer and it all comes flooding back._

 _Just little tings like when the sun used to hit the Glade at that perfect moment right before it slipped beneath the walls._

 _And I remember the taste of Frypan's stew. I never thought I'd miss that stuff so much._

 _And I remember you. I remember the first time you came up in the Box, just a scared little Greenie who couldn't even remember his own name._

 _From that moment you ran into the Maze I knew I would follow you anywhere. And I had. We all have._

 _If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn't change a thing._

 _My hope for you is when you're looking back; years from now, you'll be able to say the same._

 _The future is in your hands now, Tommy. And I know you'll find a way to do do what's right. You always have._

 _Take care of everyone for me. And take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy._

 _Thamk you for being my friend. Goodbye, mate._

 _Newt_

By the time Minho finished reading the letter, he realised he was crying. Newt has always thought of everything, even of a goodbye he never truly had the chance to say.

Thomas had his head in his hands, hiding his tears from Minho. "We would have never got this far without him." he quietly said, not having the strenght to speak louder. "He didn't deserve this." he sobbed. Too many emotions were floating inside him.

"If I only would have run faster, then maybe-"

"Minho." Thomas raised his head, face wet with tears. "Don't." It was not his fault. Maybe it was nobody's fault, after all. But a piece of guilt will be there forever.

Minho put the letter on the table next to him and turned to Thomas. One thing was for sure: they needed a hug. So he pulled his friend into an embrace. Thoams also wrapped his arms around Minho amd squeezed him tight. They were both trembling. They both missed their friend so much.

They let go after minutes, when they calmed down a little.

"I just wish he'd be here now." Thomas said with sadness in his voice.

"Yeah...me too." Minho agreed. "But remember: he wants us to be happy. And we're owing him. This is the best we can do right now." he added, to cheer up the atmosphere a bit.

Minho was right. If Newt wanted him to be happy, then he will. Or at least he'll try to. For his fallen friend.


End file.
